Erick's rant

Some people like to say "Don't hate the game. Hate the player". How would baseball be with out the pitcher? I sthat to assume that I shouldn't be mad at George Bush for wanting a bunch of money on oil? Yeah. Bush gets hi sdollar, and goes on his merry way, but what about my buddy who pays $2.50 a gallon, but has to pick up his friend on the begining of a 20 miles walk, because he can't get a gallon of gas. Isn't that some shit? What about the buddy that has to walk 11 miles? Would you get off the phone? If it's real love. There will be love tomorrow. Priorites. Now that I'm on a rant. How about the best friend that is a big fucking contributor to smashing you face? (I'm alone in the universe. So, alone in the universe) Do you hate that guy. Some would expect such. Do I? no. I really fucking don't. The only thing that bothers me, isn't the obscene amount of pain I went through. It wasn't being poked and prodded, and treated like a pity case. It was coming home, and having my adult sister crying in my arms, and then to be called a liar by best friend few days before. That's alright, the only time I cried was when I had a 12-inch piece of cotton ripped out of my nose with pliers. So, that my face wouldn't be fucked, and I could look decent. But hey, it was the condom, not the fact that I'm insecure. Punk 20-year-old tells me how to live my life. Tells people I don't have morales. I exaggerate the truth. I told what I thought was the truth always. After all that. I'm not mad. Not in the least. Hey, it was some guy not man enough to say I'm sorry. Not for the pain you caused me, but for the ones I loved. The ones you would have claimed to have loved a night before that night. Whatever, you gotta sleep with yourself at night. Names tarnish, I do not. You know the truth. I don't want the money you got from jews on pizza boxs. I wanna get up in the morning and know i have pride. I admit when I wrong, and know that I'm wrong. This whole damn entry is wrong. but hey. Truth is subjective, or do I only percieve it as such? Then there was this cute Italian girl, that I played cards too strong with, and fucked my poker face, because I was so fucking crazy about the girl. It was never as sex, because she wasn't in my eyes at night. She was in my mind. I played too strong, and lost a big hand. That's alright, I havn't thought about her in months, but really. It was really funny at prom to laugh at the desperate Erick. There's this other cute Italian girl who loves her ex, but loves to kiss me, and call me cute. I like mashed potatoes too, but sometimes I need steak. I suppose we're at different stages, or maybe this one's different. Maybe, she likes me? She plays good at hard to get, but I like it too much to level it out. Maybe another disapointment would be too much. I already lost everyone else. Precious big sister, with the wise. Daddy helping me live. Best friends either smash my face, or fall in love. What do you do? The only thing I can think of is move to the next one. Maybe something will click there, or they will be disgusted by my personality. This is a good one. I lost a lot of sleep over this one, but not for a while. I lost a lot of sleep, until I realized she is a little girl. I'm no better grant you. I can talk to her about music, and she can list bands for hours. She could tell me the favorite cereal of an artist that's in a band that I wouldn't have heard of with out her. She can write songs that make your heart melt, and you'd fall for her that second, because you want to feel like it's for you. She just looks so gorgeous. It seems like there's nothing you can do for this girl, minus changing your whole you, and your soul. Take that feeling you have in your gut, and shut it up. I love this girl. I still do. Disgust or not. I used to lose sleep. I sleep fine now. I know that this girl, is that. A little girl. Who's troubles or horrible, and shouldn't be, but she's never asked for food for Christmas. She's never been afraid that her own father wanted kill her. She's a dumb kid, trying to find herself. Like the rest of us. Who can blame her for that? So, whatever. Go crazy. Maybe I'm just trying to be right. Maybe, just maybe, it's not about being right. I was trying to help to advance your thought. So that you could open up your mind. Beautiful beautiful girl. We had beautiful beautiful times. So bright and alive, and enchanting. Lines I used that woo the one I loved. That I never would have had without you. Thens there's this other girl who loves her future, and cleanlyness of word, that I'm simply not an option. I'm too, not it. Move on. We're sorry, but you have been voted off of the island. There are three things I look forward too death, wife, and kids. If I die soon. Then I die with a good name, and have lived my life to it's fullest. Oh, and how I hope it comes soon. Because I can't decide how I'm going to feed my wife and kids in a few years. It would simply fall together nicly. Bury me with a rubiks cube, and my watch. Play the bag pipes at my funeral, and "What's Left of the Flag" by Flogging Molly. For God sakes. Don't mourn my death. Celebrate it. Contrary to this entry. I am a really happy guy. I'm just letting out aggresions. I've had a really good run. I'm certain I could find more things I'm disturbed by, but I'm too tired. This will be enough for now.